| |
Making the first move
Dahlia Martin
THE first move — those ominous three words, the source of much anxiety. Guys complain they have it hard — traditionally, they are expected to be the ones to initiate things when it comes to romance.
But in these modern times, more women are learning how to make the first move simply because the guys are just too slow at it, and playing the waiting game is no longer fun.
YQ went round to find out how girls play the game. Then armed with this information, we briefed our “partner-in-crime” Widyawati Shashawi, 19, a Taylor’s College student, to try some of them out on unsuspecting males.
Here they are, tried and tested.
SCENARIO #1
(Walking down the stairs just in front of the target and then deliberately missing a step). Target: Kenny, 20
Widyawati says: “His reflexes were instantaneous — he quickly grabbed hold of me before I toppled down the stairs. Then we both laughed for a moment when I joked about my being clumsy before introducing myself.”
Kenny says: “She was walking pretty slowly, which was why I was able to grab her quickly. Most girls would just go, ‘Thanks’, and walk off, end of story. But she made a joke about it, so I was pretty impressed by her within that short space of time. But there was nothing romantic going through my head at all.”
YQ ADVICE: As Kenny pointed out, some girls fail to grasp the potential of this moment — so use your opportunities while you can, and quickly too. However, this should not be tried in front of his mates or even yours — you don’t want to embarrass him.
SCENARIO #2
(While carrying a heavy load — a few bags, a cake box and some books) “Excuse me, do you think you could help me with this for a moment? I just need to straighten out my stuff or I might drop them!” Target: Jason, 20
Widyawati says: “What a gentleman! He quickly took the cake box and held a few bags while I straightened the books. He then held on to my stuff and said he’d carry them for me to wherever I was going. His mum should be proud of him!”
Jason says: I was just concerned about her. There’s nothing heroic in what I did, and there wasn’t any romantic attachment — but I got her name and we had a light chat, so I guess we could be friends in future.
YQ ADVICE: If you’re not sure whether your guy is a gentleman, try this out. You may be astonished by the results, and if he is a gentleman, you’d at least have got on first-names basis with him.
SCENARIO #3
(Reading over the guy’s shoulder) She asks, “Did Tottenham win the game then?” Target: Matthew, 18
Widyawati says: “I think he freaked out. He was like, ‘Go buy your own paper’, and that was it. Looks like that didn’t work.”
Matthew says: “I wasn’t even reading about the match. She was very nosey and I found it a bit rude. True, she’s quite attractive, but I still wouldn’t want to date a busybody.”
YQ ADVICE: Not recommended if you aren’t already on a talking basis with him. You’ll come across as rude and arrogant, and instead of becoming a friend to the guy you fancy, you’ll quickly become someone he detests.
SCENARIO #4
(Limping across the floor) “Excuse me, my heel broke, do you know if there’s a cobbler around here? And a doctor, too, because my ankle really hurts!”Target: Amin, 19
Widyawati says: “He was nice enough to point out a cobbler and offer to take me to a doctor. But he said he wouldn’t be able to stay long as he had a class and was already late.”
Amin says: “I had a class right after Friday prayers, so I was kind of rushing to get to it but I really did want to assist her when she approached me. However, it was a pretty crucial class as I had to present a project. I felt bad for not helping.”
YQ ADVICE: Another gentleman’s test but be careful when you use it. You don’t want to catch him when he’s in a rush, or it could backfire terribly.
SCENARIO #5
(Staring at the guy, raising an eyebrow occasionally and playing with her hair) Target: Gurmeet, 18
Widyawati says: “When he first noticed I was looking his way, he seemed surprised by the intensity of my stare and kept looking around him, to see if I was staring at someone else. But when he realised I was making eyes at him, he quickened his pace, looking back occasionally at me.”
Gurmeet says: “Was I supposed to be turned on by that? Eww! It was so creepy, the way she kept staring at me! I can absolutely guarantee that any guy who experiences that will either be freaked out or turned off.”
YQ ADVICE: Gurmeet says it as it is — it is gross. You don’t want to start resembling a female poyo, so don’t even try this.
SCENARIO #6
(Approaching a guy at a mamak stall) “Hey there! How’d you like to get a drink?”Target: Rishaad, 20
Widyawati says: “He quickly asked if it was on me, and when I told him it was, he said sure! We went and got a drink, and had a pretty nice chat afterwards.”
Rishaad says: “Some people might think it’s wrong for a girl to approach a guy, but I say bring it on; I felt immensely flattered when she came up to me and asked me for a drink, and it didn’t hurt that it was a belanja (treat). I got to make a new friend too!
YQ ADVICE: If you have enough guts to try this, go ahead. You get to see just how cool your guy is, or how much of a little boy he still is. However, make sure he doesn’t get the wrong idea and think you’re easy.
SCENARIO #7
(On all fours on the ground) “Can someone please help me? My glasses fell and I can’t see anything!”Target: Ben, 20
Widyawati says: “This guy was so sweet. He helped me find the glasses, and then when he thought he detected a bit of a crack in them, offered to direct me to the optician. I think he must’ve seen me hesitate, so then he introduced himself and tried pretty hard to gain my trust. He was really nice.”
Ben says: “I wear glasses myself, and know how difficult it can be when you lose them and you’ve got no one to help you. I hope she’s OK.”
YQ ADVICE: A definite nice guy might respond, but proceed with caution in this situation; if you really can’t see without your glasses or contacts, you might find yourself pulling down the wrong guy.
SCENARIO #8
(Stopping a guy) “Hey! Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Target: Mazlan, 20
Widyawati says: “He was able to take it pretty lightly and said, ‘I don’t think so!’ I kept insisting I knew him, and managed to get his name in the process — which means later on, I can approach him more easily.”
Mazlan says: “I was a bit psyched, but found it quite funny. I guess later if I see her, I’d remember her as the pretty girl who mistook me for someone else; I could have a laugh about it too!”
YQ ADVICE: We don’t recommend it in most situations, especially when your target is with his friends or you’ve seen the target around quite a bit. He might not be as easy-going as Mazlan was, especially if he’s pretty busy.
All’s fair in love and war — so be prepared for a range of results. Still, if you girls think you can do it better, or have any success (or failure) stories to share with us, do drop us a line at yquake@nstp.com.my and just maybe you might find yourself playing love-life adviser to youths across the country. |
