Journals
Monday,Nov 29 2004, 09:17:52 AMThe No. 1 Way to Hide an Illicit Affair In a...
The No. 1 Way to Hide an Illicit Affair
In a "they-got-paid-to-do-this?" type study, psychologists from Florida Atlantic University figured out there are 91 ways to hide an illicit love affair from your unsuspecting spouse.
And the No. 1 way?
* A man
* should pretend an even greater interest in his wife and their future together as a couple.A woman
should keep to her daily routine, being careful to change nothing--especially how she dresses or her beauty regimen.
Think about this. The outward signs that would make a marriage look solid and secure and loving are also the exact same signs it could be on the rocks, reports London's Daily Telegraph of the Florida study into human mate-poaching. Yes, that's what the researchers call it: human mate-poaching.
The study: Led by evolutionary psychologist Todd Shackelford, the team questioned cheating partners, reviewed earlier research into relationships and lying, and asked the cheats which techniques worked best. Then they rated each technique for its effectiveness. "The goal was to identify the acts men and women perform to disguise the fact that they are trying to attract a mate-poaching relationship," Shackelford explained to the Telegraph.
The results: Men and women have 51 different strategies for "poaching" a mate and 91 different ways to cover up an adulterous affair.
And for those of you who aren't trying to cheat on your one true love, but would want a clue if he or she is unfaithful to you, here are the hints to watch for:
* Women beware if your husband talks about spending "quality time" together. More than anything else, this is the hallmark of a cheat.
* Men
be concerned, be very concerned, if your wife suddenly demands more sex, seems unusually attentive to you, and wears her wedding ring more often than she did before.
And, men, this should really scare you: Women are far better at deception than you are.
The research findings were published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Sunday,Nov 28 2004, 09:58:00 AMMartha Stewart's Post-Thanksgiving To Do...
Martha Stewart's Post-Thanksgiving To Do List
1.Blanch the carcass from your Thanksgiving turkey, taking care to remove all meat, cartilage and sinew.Dry carcass thoroughly. Spray paint the carcass gold, turn it upside down, and use it as a sleigh to hold holiday greeting cards.
2.Outfit neighborhood rats with tiny antlers and elf uniforms.
3.Deflate your car tires and re-fill them with Glade Holiday Scented air.This way, when your tires get shot out or slashed at the mall, they will release a fresh, cheery scent.
4.Organize your spice rack by genus and phylum.
5.When you receive your new phone book, use the old one as a personal address book by simply crossing out the names and addresses of people whom you don't know.
Sunday,Nov 28 2004, 09:49:44 AMPart of the airline's recent settlement with...
Part of the airline's recent settlement with the unions was hiring handicapped people.
The other day, passengers on a small commuter plane were waiting for the flight to leave. Two men walked up the aisle dressed in pilots' uniforms and both were wearing dark glasses. One pilot was using a seeing-eye dog, and the other was tapping his way up the aisle with a white cane.
Nervous laughter spread through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.
As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their books and magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
Up front in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
Saturday,Nov 27 2004, 01:28:17 PMTen Things Stylish Men Keep In Their......
Ten Things Stylish Men Keep In Their Wallets
By Elaine Szewczyk
Style reaches beyond expensive suits. It's a way of life. It's not enough to consider yourself stylish-you must be equipped to prove it in any circumstance.
Keep these ten items in your wallet. You never know when you'll need them:
Matches. Channel your inner Humphrey Bogart. Even if you don't smoke, matches are a great item to keep on your person. You'll be grateful when you pass an attractive stranger in need of a light.
Toothpick. Of course no one's asking that you pick your teeth in public. That would be gauche (but you knew that). The toothpick is an emergency item, the kind of thing that will prove useful when checking your front teeth in a bathroom mirror only to find a stray piece of spinach.
Safety pin. Like the toothpick, this is for emergency use only. If a button pops off or a buckle snaps at the absolute wrong time, a stylish man will be ready to repair it at a moment's notice.
Business card from a local florist. A stylish man sends flowers. It's a simple gesture that immediately distinguishes its sender.
Library card. Better than a gold card, a library card is a reminder of your thirst for knowledge. It may be free but it carries a priceless message.
$100 bill. A $100 bill is a reminder that you don't deal in change. Your attitude is bigger than that, even if your bank account isn't. Pulling out the occasional hundred is an image-maker's secret weapon: In a world of tens, you're a hundred.
Restaurant recommendations. A stylish man knows his way around town. He's been there and done that. Keeping a slip of paper listing two atmospheric restaurants and their addresses allows you to offer up an original suggestion if the opportunity presents itself.
Mint. Words aren't the only things that come out of a stylish man's mouth. Good breath is as important as vocabulary. If you don't have it, you have nothing.
Driver's license. No matter how you look at it, a bicycle just isn't going to cut it.
A picture of parents. Of course you're stylish, but you're also down to earth, not to mention gracious, giving credit where credit is due.
Wednesday,Nov 24 2004, 11:58:44 PMClone of My Own (to the tune of "Home on the...
Clone of My Own (to the tune of "Home on the Range"):
"Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With its Y chromosome changed to X,
And When it is grown
Then my little clone
Will be of the opposite sex!
Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X,
And when I'm alone
With my little clone
We will both think of nothing but sex."
---Issac Asimov