Thursday,Dec 30 2004, 08:26:29 AMThe Phrases That Make Her Freak By Laura...

The Phrases That Make Her Freak

By Laura Snyder

As much as we complain that you boys are oh-so uncommunicative, not all talk is good. Here are just a few examples of what not to say.

"Have you gained weight?"

If she did, trust us, she knows and does not need your friendly suggestion that she hit the gym a little more often. And what if she brings it up? She just wants your reassurance - not a critical confirmation that, yes, that dress is a little snug - so give it to her.

"You're right, she is a bitch."

As much as she complains about her mom/boss/coworker/friend, it sure seems like she would want you to agree with her. But beware this trap. If you agree, she gets defensive (especially if it's someone she's really tied to, like dear old mom). If you stick up for the maligned, you're siding with the enemy. Best bet? Be vague. Echo back her sentiments ("she did x, y, and z to you?") and offer your support ("I'm sorry you're upset").

"Is it that time of the month?"

Should you dare to utter this question, at least make sure she's not holding something she could hit you with. If she's mad about you because you did something stupid (and yes, you are capable of making us mad for reasons wholly unrelated to our hormones), she'll be even more livid that you're trivializing her anger. And if she is a little testy due to PMS, you're just going to set her off even more (and it's not likely she'll admit it anyway).

"One time, with this other woman..."

We know you're awfully proud of that "Night of Five Times" or the time you did your dame in the upper deck at Fenway. But if it wasn't with us, we don't ever want to hear about it. Ditto for any comparisons between us and your ex, even if we come out more favorable. Before you pour out your private life, ask yourself if it's really in our best interest (like pertinent health information) or if you're just looking to brag.

Copyright Fun Online Corporation

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Tuesday,Dec 28 2004, 03:29:31 PMhis Food Can Make Men Aggressive Men: Beware...

his Food Can Make Men Aggressive

Men: Beware how much soy you consume. It could change your behavior. It's long been known that soy is beneficial to women in a number of ways, but new research from Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center indicates the same is not true for men. In fact, a diet rich in soy isoflavones, especially through the use of soy supplements, can have marked influences on patterns of aggression and social behavior in men, reports HealthDayNews. Isoflavones, which are found in soy protein, are a naturally occurring plant estrogen. For women, the benefits of a diet rich in soy are numerous. Soy can reduce the risk of various cancers, as well as osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease, and some postmenopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes.

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Monday,Dec 20 2004, 07:40:00 AMWHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (Nama...

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
(Nama kabuah manok melintas jalai alun)

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.


ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.


RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.


KARAM SINGH WALIA (TV3 News caster):
Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan ayam-
ayam itu sedang melintas jalan, mereka bukan
sahaja melintas jalan malah membuang najis di
atas jalan dan ini adalah pencemaran yang paling
hebat di maya pada masa ini. Bapa-bapa dan ibu-
ibu Ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk
melatih ayam-ayam agar menahan najis sewaktu
melintas jalan, sekian saya sudahi dengan.........
Ayam di jalan di lintaskan
Ayam di reban mati tak makan


JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck
was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"


BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook.


MAHATHIR:
You know, I am tired of all this..'apa-nama'
chicken-chicken bisnes....the foreign powers
should stop intervening in our domestic affairs
and just leave our chickens alone..... if they want
to...'apa nama' cross the road, they should be
allowed to cross the road .. Malaysia is a
democratic country,we let our chickens do
whatever they want to do.... as long as they don't
threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the
government...and if they plan to do so...we won't
hesitate to use the ISA...

ABDULLAH BADAWI:
Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan
percaya khabar - khabar angin ini
semua...biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang
untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam -
ayam semua...jangan percaya..jangan percaya....

SAMY VELLU :
ayyooyoo...belakang cerita lain kali, kita sude
bikin banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna
jembatan untuk lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu itu
ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan,beritau sama saya juga,
saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll........


COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?


BILL CLINTON :
I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...

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Tuesday,Dec 14 2004, 06:20:38 AMWhy A Christmas Tree Is Better Than A Woman 1

Why A Christmas Tree Is Better Than A Woman

10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.

9. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.

8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.

7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its decorations.

6. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.

5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.

4. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.

3. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.

2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.

1. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck

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Sunday,Dec 12 2004, 02:55:16 AMDo This One Thing For a Happy Marriage We're...

Do This One Thing For a Happy Marriage

'We're done!' can be predicted before a couple says 'I do"--if they lack one relationship skill: the ability to resolve conflicts. Those who know how to argue without hurting one another and resolve their areas of disagreement are almost guaranteed a long and happy marriage, according to researchers from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif., reports HealthDayNews. In contrast, the No. 1 sign that couples are headed for divorce--even before they walk down the aisle--is that they make negative comments about the relationship or each other.

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