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Sunday,Nov 28 2004, 09:58:00 AMMartha Stewart's Post-Thanksgiving To Do...

Martha Stewart's Post-Thanksgiving To Do List

1.Blanch the carcass from your Thanksgiving turkey, taking care to remove all meat, cartilage and sinew.Dry carcass thoroughly. Spray paint the carcass gold, turn it upside down, and use it as a sleigh to hold holiday greeting cards.

2.Outfit neighborhood rats with tiny antlers and elf uniforms.

3.Deflate your car tires and re-fill them with Glade Holiday Scented air.This way, when your tires get shot out or slashed at the mall, they will release a fresh, cheery scent.

4.Organize your spice rack by genus and phylum.

5.When you receive your new phone book, use the old one as a personal address book by simply crossing out the names and addresses of people whom you don't know.

Sunday,Nov 28 2004, 09:49:44 AMPart of the airline's recent settlement with...

Part of the airline's recent settlement with the unions was hiring handicapped people.

The other day, passengers on a small commuter plane were waiting for the flight to leave. Two men walked up the aisle dressed in pilots' uniforms and both were wearing dark glasses. One pilot was using a seeing-eye dog, and the other was tapping his way up the aisle with a white cane.

Nervous laughter spread through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. ...

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Saturday,Nov 27 2004, 01:28:17 PMTen Things Stylish Men Keep In Their......

Ten Things Stylish Men Keep In Their Wallets

By Elaine Szewczyk

Style reaches beyond expensive suits. It's a way of life. It's not enough to consider yourself stylish-you must be equipped to prove it in any circumstance. ...

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Wednesday,Nov 24 2004, 11:58:44 PMClone of My Own (to the tune of "Home on the...

Clone of My Own (to the tune of "Home on the Range"):

"Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With its Y chromosome changed to X, ...

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Wednesday,Nov 24 2004, 11:02:44 AMTips to Keep Cell Phones From Exploding Wirel

Tips to Keep Cell Phones From Exploding


Wireless companies and federal safety officials list measures consumers can take to keep cell phone batteries from overheating: ...

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