http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz Fri, 19 Mar 2010 09:08 EDT Fri, 19 Mar 2010 09:08 EDT Zorpia.com http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372769 <P>New Blog.... i'm moving blog liao wor........ here's my new addy...</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P><A href="http://baobaobaobao.blogspot.com/" target="_new">http://baobaobaobao.blogspot.com/</A></P> <P>Drop me comments!</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372769 Mon, 14 Jun 2004 09:17 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372771 <P>Phwoah....got my pay for food expo today... =) 575 for 6 days wor... not bad lah... ok shall talk abt work today.... my expo&nbsp; job ended last night.... 6 days job....... my boss is mr atushi kanuma san... hehehe a v cute jap guy... always like to crap ard with us... smile at almost everything.... he laughed when we spoil the cash register... haha..... ok n his name is funny... atushi... hahaa ppl who&nbsp; know me we know tt wad it means... it's the word i use for excuse me.... learned tt frm my niece... hehe... then my "colleague" evon san..... ya got closer to her over the 6 days.... a v funny crazy gal.... she looks tame n sweet.... LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING man hahah.... shd look at the way she promote stuffs hhahahaah 2 of us simply shout n shout... forgetting out da xue sheng image hahaha...then there's the short short takahashi san who's also cute hahah.... the the LOSER mr lim who took half our pay.... we realised in abt 3 days after our work lah... then got really sianz hahaha... then there was udon stall ppl who always torture us with their horrible tasting udon hahaha n the egg tart auntie... hahah...our neighbour melvin uncle who sells&nbsp;all sorts of food haha..&nbsp;n most of all grass jelly uncles... hahaha those crazy guys shout n shout everyday... "lao ban bu zai luan luan mai..." quite a fun experience lah.... dun think abt the money...and the yao gui ppl hahhaa....&nbsp;alright lah hahaha...</P> <P>barter trade was our every night fav activity.... always exchange a lot of goodies back heheh so happy... snow ice was our favourite... it's REALLLY VERY VERY VERY nice lor.... =) ok&nbsp; lah...at least we get to sit down most of the time... =) n had fun...</P> <P>now i'm jobless again....</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372771 Wed, 02 Jun 2004 13:18 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372772 <P>normal day.........gonna start work tmr... hah... dunno wanna be happy or sianz but alright la... dowan to fall back to my hu si luan xiang days,,,, singapore food expo...free mus come eat k... working with evon... =) hope i wont gian any more weight...die hahaha... went out with xue zhang today...wanted to buy ms something but cannot find the right one... so sad..hmmmmwad else... wha results coming out...i'm so damn extremely scared!!! ok dun da bao i v happy liao... went to pray pray today hehe.....wil be working when results come out...wha...dunno how to work if i dun do well.....shurugz......... </P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372772 Wed, 26 May 2004 06:19 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372775 end of my 1st hols job.... ok lah.... poorly paid but always do nothing so yup not so bad... n my second jobs is coming lor...food expo...yeah.. =) Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372775 Sun, 23 May 2004 21:23 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372776 Just a short intro about my new pic here.... it's my beautiful mummy... n this is one of the last pics she took.... u know.... when she took this pic... she oredi cannot speak properly.... n had breathing difficulties... ya..... n she still smiled.... that's how strong she was.... she's my beloved mummy... =) n guess who's the photographer... my lil niece Cay-en who's only 2.5 yr old... =) can see her finger ya? hehe Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372776 Wed, 19 May 2004 22:48 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372777 <P>I found myself a job!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 with a bad pay tho but i'm so happy... i finally dun have to sit at home all day n feeel miserable... n hu si luan xiang n always feel like dying...... woo hoo! i hope the job will never end... i dun wanna stopworking.... haiz... talking rubbish....... but i'm glad i finally managed to get a change... =) </P> <P>at singapore expo.... some home appliances fair..... quite fun la... heheh work with shanyi... n the ppl there r all quite fun loving hehehe.... thoes lao uncle uncle lee uncle victor uncle paul eric korkor uncle terapin and uncle(who insisted we call him uncle) mike heheh so fun so fun.... hope tmr will be a better day~ =)</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372777 Wed, 19 May 2004 14:46 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372778 <P>I'm still sad i'm still gloomy... guess this webby will be full of sad stuffs... more of a frustration blog than a normal blog i guess... kinda hate this hols.... my 1st hols without mom 1st hols.... i use to love slacking ard at home... but this time round i kinda hate it....i'm on the edge of falling into a depression soon... i cannot stop crying when i think abt stuffs... i'm jus so depress n i dunno y... initially i tot it's relationship tt made me this upset..... then i tot abt it.... i realised it's cos mummy is no longer ard....ya it's cos of that... no one will play ard with me when i slack at home... no one will make me laugh when i complain abt relationship prob.... seems that only her advice to me are to more effective... i tried talking to my frens they tried so hard to help me to cheer me up but i'll still end up sad....</P> <P>after mummy's departure.. i kept telling myself that i mus be strong i mus be cheerful like before.... n i studied hard for exam... i tot i was okay..n it turned out that i'm not..............</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372778 Mon, 17 May 2004 06:38 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372780 *Pianzg* been damn long since my last entry...&nbsp; cos of stpid exam... well msot of the ppl r stilll struggling so i shd count myself lucky bah..slacking ard is definitely enjoyable... after all those "nie" "library" "studying room" days... kinda bored too anyway... nothing much for me to do at home... so yup must plan for stuffs to do real soon,.,,, jus moved back home from hall with my barabg barang.. hahah scary... sooOooOo many things.... heng xuezhang let me throw my stuffs in his room hehehe~ *grateful* cannot imagine my room at home with fridge n 2 computers n whatever haha... so bored... find me stuffs to do ppl.... Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372780 Sat, 01 May 2004 21:18 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372781 <P>i'm in a lost state now. i dunno what i'm doing what i'm going to do next, who to talk to, or rather i dun feel like talking to anyone, greeting people saying hi is a chore smiling makes me feel worse. i get really irritated by people who keep asking me to be stong if i'm not strong i wont be here. stop asking me if i'm ok when every single person say the same thing to you. it can get really irritating. i dun like it, dont ke lian me. i know u all care, if u care let me get back on my feet myself treat me the way u always do i'm not an orphan i still have my dad my sis n bro in fact i still have my mom she's always in my heart. it's oredi very painful tt my mom left me i wont be able to see her again only in my dreams... so dont rub it in dont remind me no please no! </P> <P>i'm so touchy lately i dunno why i really dun feel like talking to anyone i feel like staying at home i hate hall when i'm in hall i close my door tight i dun wanna talk dont want ppl to disturb me i know they meant well but i wanna be left alone. i cant take part in any celebrations yes i know u guys meant well... but stop asking me to go for watever supper dinner or wad photoshot i dun want! i love celebrations but i'm mourning, no celebrations for me if not mummy will feel bad abt it.... i dunno whether all these instructions given by the chinese shi fu are true... but i'm not gonna let go of any possibility to make my mom suffer. i want her to be happy in heaven... i'm jus doing my last bit as a daughter... so please... jus leave me alone will u guys? the day you ppl appeared at my mom's funeral, the days you ppl gave me warm tight hugs i know you all care... enough... let be stand up on my own... </P> <P>i will ask for help if i need some ok?</P> <P>thank you.</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372781 Wed, 24 Mar 2004 19:18 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372782 ¤Ñ¤Wªº¬P¬P¤£»¡¸Ü <BR>¦a¤Wªº«½«½·Q¶ý¶ý<BR>¤Ñ¤Wªº²´·ú¯w§r¯w <BR>¶ý¶ýªº¤ß§r¾|¦Bªá<BR>®a¶mªº¯ù¶é¶}º¡ªá<BR>¶ý¶ýªº¤ß¨x¦b¤Ñ²P<BR>©]©]·Q°_¶ý¶ýªº¸Ü<BR>°{°{ªº²\¥ú¾|¦Bªá<BR> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372782 Wed, 24 Mar 2004 11:09 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372783 <P>dunno how many donkey years neve write in this le.... haiz like i said in the previous... so many things happened to me over the past onhe month... u know.... i hate to be an adult... but i think i grew up a lot within this 1 month... yes so many things happened till i dowan to write le.. hahah... growing up forcefully isnt a very nice experience... yah... so ppl grow up ok... dun be like me... always behave n think like a kid.... n grow up in the hard way... why am i so sentimental today.. haiz.. i also dunno.... jus have the feeling i guess... i cannot let mummy leave me.. i need her so much u know... sometimes there r always feelings tt i keep to myself.... u know... i only can tell mummy... or rather... i only know how to tel mummy... only mummy will understand... only she can talk me out of my pessimistic-ness only she can tell me what is right n wrong... only she wont scold me when i complain.... i love my mom..</P> <P>What am i talking about.. i'm losing myself... sometimes i feeel so lost feel sounwanted...esp when ming refuse to give in n decided to be stern... so scary one u know... i'm the chi ruan bu chi ying type... n he's the type with very limited patience with my lil kid tantrum..</P> <P>i'm an adult now... i know i have to n ya... i want to be an adult now... nobody will treat baby mabel like mummy do yah? if mummy's not around... i have to be an adult already... so i must&nbsp;grow up....<IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/sad.gif" width=15></P> <P>&nbsp;Dnd was last night... was a break from my gloomy days... quite a fun-filled event... =) happy.. tho i didnt win but i still feel happy i know mummy's happy when she watched it too... so heart warming to hear mummy, jiejie n kor praise me u know? think it's always wat your love ones say that matters the most right? at least i think so~ n ming won the hall prince! i felt like jumping around when they annouced so.. i was the big winner ya? i won myself the hall prince... =)</P> <P>that's all i guess... i cant cont with sad weblogs...quite saddening anyway...wan an... going to start my full swing for exam revision right... *reluctantly*...<IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/bummed.gif" width=15></P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372783 Sat, 13 Mar 2004 03:18 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372784 <P>haizzzzzzzzz my birthday is finally over so many things happened.... i have so many things to say..... will take very long... wait till i go back to sch ba.... =( stupid i'm in a mess now... hope to get out of it soon...</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372784 Thu, 04 Mar 2004 22:05 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372785 <P>didnt intend to write today... but i decided to anyway..... i dunno why... it's jus an in born fact that i get jealous easily... but soetimes... when i try to control.... and if tt person still cont doing it.. dun u think it's very hard for me to tolerate? i mean no gals will want their bf to be too close to other gals lor.. no matter how fat or how ugly they might look or how impossible it might be for them to be together. i know i totally understand that but u'll jus hate it when they start flirting or rather playing joking i cant take it... too bad. but whenever i feel v disturbed by all these.... i try tpo keep it to myself... but i cant help showing it...cos it's bothering me too much. and what will happen? i get scolded in return.... for being petty? but i tot all gals are petty.. i really mind mah... he say i mus be frank with him and then when i'm frank i tell him he'll say i'm ridiculous n want to quarrel... then wad do u want me to do? in that case i rather not say...</P> <P>i hate myself sometimes... why... how i wish i'm like those bo chup galfrens... bf wanna flirt all he wants she wont feel a thing... but sadly i'm not one of those ppl.... so i'm constantly bothered. now he's angry... what do u want me tpo do? i'm so bothered with so many things.... i give up!</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372785 Thu, 26 Feb 2004 19:25 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372788 <P><IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/blush.gif" width=15>-=Free=-<IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/blush.gif" width=15></P> <P>I&nbsp;wish i knew how, it would feel to be free.</P> <P>I wish i could&nbsp;break all the chain holding me.</P> <P>I wish i could say, all the things that i should say.</P> <P>Say them loud, say them clear for the whole wide world to hear.</P> <P>I wish i could share all the love that's in my heart.<IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/heart2.gif" width=15></P> <P>It moves all the blocks that keeps us apart.</P> <P>And i wish, you could know, how it feels to be me.</P> <P>And you'll see, and you'll agree.</P> <P>That every man should be free.</P> <P>I wish i could be like a bird in the sky.</P> <P>How sweet it would be, if i found i could fly.</P> <P>Well I'll soar to the sun and look down at the sea.</P> <P>And I'll sing cos i know how it feels to be free</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372788 Mon, 16 Feb 2004 23:39 EDT http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372789 <P>hmmm... i'm home again... mummy looks a bit better today... she told me she's gg to stop crying..... she say she's gonna be strong... and then she smiled at me... hmmm... said she dun wanna make everyone so sad le... so she mus be strong n cont smiling.... hurts me so much to hear tt but i'm truly proud of my mom... she's brave isnt she? yes i'm always proud of my mom... fews days back mummy started recording stuffs.... some last words she wanna say to some pple... jiejie n i recorded it for her.... can imagine how saddening to hear all those stuffs ya.... but i know tt's her wish... so we did it for her... there's so many so many things she wanna tell many people... but her time is running out...</P> <P>when mummy will leave me? i really dunno i hope not anytme soon... nobody wish tt'll ever happen... my mom is only 45 ya... but i know her time is running out.... but i'll be strong.... i mus try my best to&nbsp; make mummy happy... this yr i decided to celebrate my birthday at home le.... with mummy..... maybe some friends bah.... small one will do.. mummy is my best present le... i dun want anything else... this yr, my birthday wish will be that mummy will be able to celebrate my 21st with me.... can she hold on till then? i really hope she does... =(</P> <P>hmmm since my last post.... i received so many cards.... 1t was from roomie.... i was so short but yet so touching... made me cry on the bus... =( then it was ying and ruishan and then mingsheng, gugu lun korkor.... then i received a present from xue jie n xue zhang... everyone loves me....thanks a lot poeple.... i'm really touched by your actions.... really.. =) but stop writing me so mush letters..... i cry so many times le wor.. i'll be strong... i try my best.. </P> <P>Happy Valentines' Day</P> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/raynedayz/journal/372789 Wed, 11 Feb 2004 19:36 EDT