sammy5058's Homepage

sammy5058's Homepage http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058 Sun, 03 Jan 2010 19:28 EST Sun, 03 Jan 2010 19:28 EST Zorpia.com back from a long absence http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1762681 It's been long since I posted anything up here. I am extremely sorry for my absence. Blame it on my exam stress followed by an over-active social life. First and foremost, happy new year to all. May year 2008 bring much more happiness to this world. Anyway, I can't believe that I even missed out on the most wonderful christmas eve I ever had with my friends and boyfriend. My dear friends whom I hold ever so dearly, still supportive, still caring and I had a splendid time hanging out with them. The boyfriend, seems to be changing for the better. Well, he volunteered to cut up my steak and overall, he was really sweet. Now, lets fast-forward a little. I had a peaceful new year eve at uncle's place. However, the advanced telecommunication technology did not devoid me of any new year festivity. At about 12:03am, I received a call from the boyfriend, who apparently was very drunk and mumbling all sorts of nonsense to me. Sweet words, in fact. But I have been told never to trust a drunk man's words. Hence, the words, though sweet, did not linger for too long. Moving on to today, happy birthday!! It's my birthday. I'm already 19. How time flies. As opposed to previous years, there will be no partying. In fact, I'm not even spending the day with friends. It's just me and my bed (I'm down with a flu). But, being down with a flu did not stop me from getting a hair job. I got my hair dyed even though I am down with a flu, just because I get a 20% discount on my birthday. The flu medicine is starting to take effect, for I am getting drowsy and the world seems to be spinning right before my eye. So, till next time. Have a blasting year ahead of you. Toodles! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1762681 Sat, 05 Jan 2008 01:18 EST 15 minutes' drive to satisfy my need http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1730478 So, I skipped TKS again. I know...I know. Don't start nagging me. I couldn't help it. I was so sleepy that my eyes were half-opened on my way home. Anyway, I had a good nap and a long bath. Speaking of bathing... I woke up this morning to find that there was no water supply at my house. Not a drop of water was left in the water tank because the new maid used it up to water the grass yesterday evening. I was so worked up because I can't go to college without taking shower. No. I just can't do it. After much whining, mum said: "If you really need a shower that badly, drive to old office and take your shower there before you head to college." You should see the light in my eyes when my mum gave me the solution. I quickly grabbed my clothes and toiletry bag. Clad in a sweater over my sleepwear, I headed to the office. It was 6 something in the morning and there was not much traffic in Subang. The area around office was dead silent, not a soul in sight except for the security guards and a few stray dogs. I regretted my decision at once but my strong urge to have a nice shower triumphed over my regret that was mixed with a tinge of fear (It was dark and I was alone.) So, I grabbed my stuffs and went into the office, be extra careful to lock the doors after me; on the lights and look around before I entered the pantry area that connects to the bathroom. I got in the bathroom safely, no shadows lurking in the corner or whatsoever, except a dead cockroach. I was really happy that I could finally take a shower...until I realised the shower head was not working. The sulking me put on my clothes reluctantly, found a pail from the pantry area, filled it with tap water and lulled it back into the bathroom (I never knew water can be so heavy). Finally, finally, I took my shower. It was the best shower I ever had although I did it the traditional tiring way, i.e: pouring water over yourself head first lah. It was a humid, stuffy morning and I was sweating from the search for a pail and carrying the water into the bathroom. But, the cooling sensation I felt when the ice-cold water touched my skin was so satisfying that I sighed with relief and satisfaction. I could even feel my body muscles relaxing and I felt completely at ease. In short, it was great, just like what a nice massage does to me. (Don't start frowning at me. I know it was only tap water but it was really good.) But, just like any other satisfaction, this satisfaction lasted for a short moment only, for when I was done with my shower, I was shivering in cold, my teeth clattering and my hands shaking. I dried myself and dressed in such speed I wish I can achieve under normal circumstances. I glanced at my watch that was lying in the toiletries bag and realised I took 30 minutes to take a shower. With no time to spend on applying make-up, I packed my things and headed to college. That basically explains why I reached college at almost 7:30am without breakfast. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1730478 Tue, 25 Sep 2007 05:13 EST absurdity http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1729243 I am in a blissful state, overcome with an unexplainable joy that runs through my veins. Instead of enjoying the bliss, I feel a certain absurdity - something, or rather someone behind my mind, telling me that it is not right to be in a bliss. Afraid, yes I am. I am afraid that someday this bliss will leave me...dropping me from the clouds, where I will finally fall on the hard ground, crush my bones and disappear into the darkness - for eternity. "Everything is fine," or so I try to convince myself, trying hard to paint a perfect portrait of a happy couple. He, the man who brings me on a joyride to heaven and put me in a state of happiness, done wonderfully through countless deception and lies. Then, I am pushed down the cliff where I land on a bed of thorns, while he enjoys himself in the arms of another. It happens the same way: Everytime I try to move away, he comes back and plea for forgiveness. He claims to love me. Love? I don't know. I have long given up seeking the meaning of love. My tears have dried. I take him back every single time he comes pleading to me - reconciliation that comes with our lips locked, limbs entwined. I am weak, for not only my heart yearns for him, my body yearns for his too. Again, he puts me in a state of bliss. This time, I do not question anymore. For as long as he provides my needs, I am satisfied. No, being satisfied does not equates to being happy. A smile plastered on my face hides the excruciating pain and grief I am suffering. Master of torture, thief of hearts - that's him. A girl just wants a man who will love her and only her; to protect her; to cherish her. Is it too much to ask from a man? Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1729243 Fri, 21 Sep 2007 05:32 EST Just Another Update http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1727934 Greetings from Singapore. Here I am at Changi Airport, waiting for my flight. Dad is dozing off in the chair over there while I am using his laptop and somebody's Wifi. It's been more than a year since I post a journal up here. My daily updates are on blogspot. Presentation went well here at Singapore today. My first ever "business trip". To reward me, dad gave me a day's leave tomorrow, not to mention an entire afternoon on my own today, which was spent exploring Singapore while he tackled the fussy suppliers and clients.  It is not the tourist sites of Singapore that attract me. Rather, it is the backlane and alleyway that captures my attention. Singapore may look structured, organised with cold concrete skyscapers. But, peer into the backlane. That is where Singapore comes alive. The messy arrangement of the garbage, the greenish black moss on the wall, the dripping water tap, the man washing the plates all present a variety of patterns - beautiful patterns of life. While uptown Singapore is like printed textile, the alleyway of Geylang more or less represent a patchwork quilt. Each patch of cloth is unique and even conflicting in its own way. But it makes a beautiful artwork when combined together. My only regret is that I do not have my camera with me and my chauffeur for the day, whose eyes trailed me everywhere while he savoured his cigarette (it was his duty to make sure I arrived safely at Changi Airport for departure) while persuading me to go back to Orchard Road and wait for dad over there. I did, after I was satisfied with the loud and rough beings at downtown who donned Japanese slippers and bad hair-dye. Back at Orchard Road, it was all glitzy and glamour. The well-dressed tai tais carrying shopping bags while gossipping about their husbands, yuppies bickering away on their cellphones in their smart suit, the nicely polished Mercs and Porsches that glittered under the sun (what's the point when they can only drive at 80km/hr on their freeway?), school girls and boys who were still in their uniform, deciding where to spend the rest of the day. Of course, the sunburnt ang mohs stepping out of the 5 star hotels, greeted warmly by the bellboy who look smart in his gold-buttoned uniform and a pair of gloves. Again, I cursed myself for leaving my camera at home. Now, as I am looking at the sun setting in a mass of Boeing 747s and munching on the Dunkin Donuts dad bought and gave it to me the way he did when I was a little girl, I realised I am smiling. First time for the day. How beautiful...the long shadows that I am looking at. I am contented while my eyes are getting heavier. I shall see you all back at home tonight. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1727934 Mon, 17 Sep 2007 05:55 EST Sun..Sea..Beach http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1164652 Well,I am facing the mid term exam now. How I wish it is hollidays now. I really do miss the beautiful sun, the sapphire sea, and of course, the cloudless skies with warm breeze. Those are the things one could not get in the big city with tall skyscrapers.Oh, yes..the exam papers. They were tough like anything. i really got the shock of my life. it won't be a surprise if I fail my Biology, Physics and Chemistry.   I am really looking forward to the coming holidays. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1164652 Wed, 18 May 2005 02:50 EST A Poem Emily Dickinson Hope is the Thing... http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1128240 A PoemEmily DickinsonHope is the Thing with Feathers  Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soulAnd sings the tune without the wordsAnd never stops at all.And the sweetest in the gale is heard;And sore must be the stormThat could abash the little birdThat kept so many warm.I've heard it in the chilliest landAnd on the strangest sea;Yet, never, in extremity,It asked a crumb of me. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1128240 Wed, 20 Apr 2005 20:44 EST Well, nothing much happened today. I was... http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1092033 Well, nothing much happened today. I was hoping someone would be hanging around msn but it seems that everybody is busy. It is raining outside now and thunders are rolling like someone is bellowing. I finished my homework and going to tuition in about 10 minutes time. I guess I won't be able to write much today. Maybe it's because the rain, suddenly i feel so lazy to go anywhere and I just want to stay in front of my laptop's screen. But I have my commitments. It is my duty to commit in it. I don't know what am I writing about. I have to go now. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1092033 Thu, 24 Mar 2005 04:08 EST Last Wednesday was the worst day of my life.... http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1066788 Last Wednesday was the worst day of my life. The day which I got to know my Add Maths result. As I sat in my chair waiting for teacher to call out my name, my heart go 'thup..thup..thup..'Half of me wished that I will be able to pass the test, but my constitution told me that it is impossible to do so. 'Samantha..'Finally, our Add Maths teacher, Pn. Chuah called out my name. I was only a few steps away from her desk but it seems like an hour for me to reach there. I took a look at my paper...28%. My heart dropped. 16 years of my life and I had never failed anything..except my Grade 8 theory. Although I was ready for that results but somehow I was extremely disappointed. Then, Anne, Car, KV and Josh somehow sneaked out of their class and 'visited' me. Of course they comforted me. They shouldn't do that because I broke down and shed tears of fury and disappointment.. But after that, I felt loads better.. What's the big deal? I am not the only one who failed the test..I can't keep on 'mourning' over my results with tears and drools all over me. So, I will stand up again and LOVE Add Maths..Hopefully, I will make an improvement..at least a pass.. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/sammy5058/journal/1066788 Sat, 05 Mar 2005 00:45 EST