Asalamaulikum Every body

Lets have some nice jokes
=======================================================================
=================================================
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."

One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"About 1 litre."
==================
=================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................


and you think only you have a grandfather?
============================================
=======================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.

The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."

The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
========================================
=========================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..

Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .

Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."

Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....


====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
======================================
========================================
A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
===============================
=========================================
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.

=============================================

==================================================
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"

=======================================
==============================================
A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."

Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
============================================
My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world

Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently


==================================
====================================
Dear Broz/Sistrz,

Kindly Visit the following links please

http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php

http://www.quranenglish.com/

http://www.quranurdu.com/

http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf


http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks

http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/

Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)

If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH.

Hi, sexy girl. I'm a Chinease young man.I love your photos

I want you be my girl friend.

I need your love, baby.

Give me your phone and write to me on email.

My email is Hrtiger@126.com and my phone is13717637495

Hi



How R U ?



I hope u fine




I`m Mr.MiSta from Egypt



another one




I hope be friend to U



add my email and send me your email

mr.6y.x@hotmail.com
malak_s_2010@yahoo.com



If you visit my page and post me nice comments, i will be happy



add me as friend in the page



all girls told me that i`m hot but i want to know ur opinion



i wait all this.....



Don`t forget !!



bye sweety

would love to chat ..... alan888@hotmail.co.uk ps notts guy

hello how are you sweet i wish we be really friends i i think you like me when you talk me i wish you really add me i wait you
gothehellgo@hotmail.com
gothe_hellgo@yahoo.com
i wait you bye

Prescription meds on line
Contact capt-dream@hotmail.com
Sleeping/anti anxiety, Diet and sex
Enhancing meds
Valium, Alprazolam, Panbesy, Reduce, Kamagra, Tadalis

my birthday is 29th october maybe theres somethingthere i like to be your friend maybe more if yuo interested my msn is r_a_kidd1971@hotmail.co.uk xx

You dont live too far from me, do you still need help with your sex life.
I need a sailing partner, someone who will keep me alert on my new yacht.

religion eh?

Hİ :)
my name is Ali Im from Turkey
Im 170 tall weight 65 single
I have seen your pic mmm you looks really pretty I like your picture I would love invited you
TURKEY
on holiday I like show you my country Im sure when u come here meet me and & see my country you gone love very much all for sure
here is my msn and e mail adress
arzar_ali@hotmail.com
plz add me in your msn list chatt
be happy hope hear you soon :)