can i really forget??
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this is , my usual reality,
me,
my small desk,
papers, pen and hot tea,
and wood in the fire,and on that chair that i`d rather be,
writing what could no one see,
hoping it one day coming to reality,
bringing the memories of the day when you left me,
thoughts and thoughts rushing into my head,
can`t find the first word to write yet,
where to start, and when can i be,
past , present or a future time may be,
i closed my eyes and wrote my first scene,

the scene of the day when you let go me,
can i remember it well? or have i lost the sense of time?
Darkness is everywhere,
silence is rapping all my life`s vallies,
nothing but emptiness,
no one , nothing, no life,
but me and me by my side,
i waited and waited for a sign of life,
amazed and surprised , i stared,
everything is coming back again,
i saw everyone is passing by,
everything is so fast,
no one is noticing me, no one can see me,
and suddenely i saw this young little girl,
with this floral blue dress, and tall horse tail,
running , smiling , hopping everywhere,
as if she is announcing, " World iam there "
playing hide and seek with a little butterfly,
looking at the world with these two bright brown eyes,
how strange the resemblence of us both,
she has my eyes, my hair, my small steps,
my smile ,my look even this line in the chin,
she is me , or iam her,
i really can`t figure why she is there,
looking at me , holding by hands, smiling and guiding in the same instance,
showing me the world of my own,
when once i was happy,
i was delighted,
i wasn`t sad,
i remembered the moments you and me had,
when dreaming of somewhere we know it couldn`t be true,
when we shared alot alot and we passed all the troubles through,
who ever can say that being far , can make us forget,
i couldn`t forget a word,
a hint,
a look,
a smile,
a kiss,
i couldn`t forget how we used for each other to miss,
i remembered how you went and how it started,
how you left me and left my world desereted,
how i forget every sign in me,
iam so amazed , how successful i was pretending that i forgot you,
how could i draw the smile and you are away,
how could i live with when i know ,
that someone else is now in your heart,
and that she took all my rights in you,
she really took you,
i remembered how much i suffered when iwas imaging,
you with her,
smiling to her,
laughing to her,
singing to her,
holding her,
when all my thoughts of her was being with you,
O- how much it hurted when i knew,
how she was in all your heart although,
that heart was once mine,
you all was mine,
O- my God what deep well this little gil through me into,
i am trapped in this little scene of me,
away from my own reality,
this little girl is waking me,
she wants me to let go of my fantsies,
and live in the real world and happy be,
can i let you go? can this be,
my heart is beating and beating ,
as if it wanna go out of my chest,
cutting it`s way through,
declaring "you must forget"
but how could i forget when i feel deeply the reject,
all the thoughts are rushing and rushing,
My thoughts resonances the frequency of the heart
and this time iam awake,
sweating all over but awake,
i broke my pen,
torn my papers,
and through away the chair,
now i can say you arenot mine,
i`ll not wait for rain ,
i`ll leave this deserted plain,
i`ll be me, leaving for me,
hope to find a true love instead,
but till i find it , can i really forget??