Tuesday,Mar 13 2007, 09:39:39 AMjokies about my job .important for all teachers

Kids in school think quickly 

TEACHER    :    Maria, go to the map and find North America.
 MARIA         :    Here it is!
 TEACHER    :    Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
 CLASS          :    Maria!

TEACHER     :    Why are you late, Frank?
 FRANK          :    Because of the sign.
 TEACHER     :    What sign?
 FRANK          :    The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the f! loor?
 JOHN       :   You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER    :   Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
 GLENN         :    K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
 TEACHER    :    No, that's wrong
 GLENN         :    Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER    :    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
 DONALD      :    H I J K L M N O!!
 TEACHER    :    What are you talking about?
 DONALD      :    Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER      : Winnie, name one i! mportant thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
 WINNIE        :    Me!

TEACHER    :    Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
 GOSS          :    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER    :    Millie, give me a sentenc e starting with "I."
 MILLIE    :    I is...
 TEACHER    :    No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
 MILLIE     :    All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER    :    Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
 TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry 
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
                 didn't punish  him?"
 LOUIS    : Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER      :  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
 SIMON          :    No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good coo! k.

TEACHER      :  Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
 your brother's. Did you copy his?
 CLYDE           :    No, teacher, it's the same dog!;

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
 HAROLD   :     A teacher. 

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