Sunday,Dec 24 2006, 06:06:32 PMLife is never at a standstill.

Change.

I never truly new the meaning of that till I came back here to Brunei and hung out with my good old buddies. And yes, last year I went back too but since I was busy then, I didn't have time to  absorb everything around me.

Now, I feel it. I sense it. I see it. People have changed. For better or for worse, I cannot judge because I too have changed. But I try. I try not to let others affect me, and let the change that's happened to them overwhelm me. I am capable of adapting. I am good at that, but somehow with my friends, it's hard.

It's hard when you wish things were the way they were before. When you wish you could still relate to everything they're saying, when you were all still walking similar paths and laughing at the same silly jokes, talking about the same people. But when things change, the only good thing is that the horizons are broadened, we get to open our eyes to the world outside our circle. But we lose the strength of the forged friendships.

It hurts to know that you can't connect with your old friends, when all you can do is smile and hope that smiling will be polite enough to hide the screaming voice inside. The voice screaming "i dont know what or who you're talking about!". But hey, that is life. Life will push  you further and further away from those you love. And I guess that's the test you have to pass for yourself. Friends wil always be there... even just for the sake of your old friendship. Drifting apart doesnt have to mean bad things.. it could mean the beginning of something better. Maybe something deeper with your friends.

 What the heck. All I can say for now, is FRIENDS, i love you guys. Dont forget that. We've been through too much to let change ruin our bond. We're much better than that.

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Friday,May 20 2005, 05:01:13 AMHurt

depression. helplessness. hopelessness. they will soon overcome me. Have you ever felt them before? Dont wish you do. Theyre the worst feelings in the world. It drags you down, down a bottomless pit and you have to be strong to fight them. that's where it becomes hard. i may not be making any sense but to hell with that. That's what i feel nw.

DAMN. have you ever been in love? Once, I thought I had and actually fell into a trap that saw me not being myself but being someone who would satisfy the person I thought I was in love with. i was wrong. that ...

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Friday,May 13 2005, 11:18:09 PMsUmmEr Life...

Saturday. -May 14. the instinct to write in this journal has come again. man, so much has hapened since i last wrote here and i just wish ]evrything in my mind would just appear here. i just have too much experiences. now i sound exaggerated. anyway, Im writing because I still rmember saying if id ever have a summer fling. well, actually i got more thn that.

this summer, i got a classm8, his name's H.(dun wna spread his real name.heheh) he's in my Fil class. i never really noticed him altho people kept talking about him.(it just so happens that he is a ...

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