Extravagant sheep.

A flock of sheep flocked together one day and decided that they would treat themselves…(actually completely ‘spoil’ themselves) to a night of extreme and utter extravagance. As the hour of extravagance approached, they went out and bought new extravagant clothes so that they could dress themselves…‘extravagantly’ and threw in weird and alien behavior (that they thought would make them look posh) with their normal everyday characters. Deep inside themselves they felt totally psyched out about the whole escapade that was about to ‘happen’ for them but when the moment finally arrived … they faked their true feelings with bored looks as they found themselves standing and gazing (for a brief breathtaking moment) upon a magnificent and grand palace made of glass and marble (nice big Chinese restaurant). They ascended the steps in all manner of practiced and cultured moves yet still maintaining their bored and unfeigned looks as they imagined was ‘proper’ for the occasion. An elegant gentleman greeted them at the door with a smile and graced them in. They stood for a minute or so and scoped the place out for the perfect spot to be seated and mumbled amongst themselves in soft mellow humming tones and exquisite vocabulary (unaccustomed to the way they really talk amongst themselves in their everyday lives!) Though they couldn’t really understand exactly what one another was saying (because of each ones exquisite vocabulary) they faked it with a calm and gentle nod and with one of them pointing out towards what he suggested would be a good location (at the very far corner of the restaurant almost private and secluded away from everybody else) they all agreed and so they cat – walked down the open spaces, stepping gracefully around tables and chairs as they flocked towards it. When they arrived, they came to a halt besides their seats as a waiter rushed to assist them, pulling out each one’s chair for him or her and offering with a bow and elegant hand gesture for them to be seated. Only then, were they seated! They sat there rigidly with their bored looks trying to look composed and very relaxed (though deep inside, they wanted to scream and go completely bonkers – but they were nuts with pride… and pride was driving them nuts). The menus arrived almost immediately and they opened them up eyeing the long lists of oriental selection taking care not to look at the prices lest they be caught in such shame of doing so. However, each one did in fact steal a quick glance at the prices when they thought no one was looking taking extreme care not to look choked or baffled at the extravagant costs and then announcing that he or she would like to change his or her mind, picked something less expensive (though not cheap either considering their special ‘little’ budget) Decisions made, they sat there shivering (because they were sitting next to the air – con!) and waited for their meal in dreadful silence (as they did not wish to make any mistakes not knowing exactly what to do! or say! to one another! In this fancy place! Surrounded by fancy people!) The meal finally arrived, napkins spread out and tucked in for some by the elegant waiter, and with one last offer for anything more which they might like, the waiter bowed and left them to dine. Once more they mumbled amongst themselves in the same soft mellow tones they had used before, only to say such things as “After ewe” and “oh no, no, no … after ewe” until finally each one had been served. Someone suggested that grace be said and so they all bowed their heads in prayer while one of them softly mumbled a quick short prayer for the food (and a silent internal one for the bill). That being accomplished they lifted their spoons and started first with soup. They dined in the continued and dreadful silence (this time because they were in deep concentration, utmost focus, alertness and deep meditation) taking care not make any spills … allowing only the tiniest sips of the soup and mini bites of the food, chewing and chewing (and chewing) on tiny, tiny morsels of it before swallowing (even though they were so damned hungry) The evening dragged on … the silence continued … nothing but the soft chinks of silver cutlery on china. …. Chink (pause) chink (pause) chink (pause)… For some reason (completely strange and very coincidental) no one in the restaurant was talking all of a sudden!… except for a foreign lady (probably a tourist) seated at the next table engaged in wine and deep conversation with a partner over a meal spread out on a table for two. The silence was so overwhelming that even if you tried to mind your own business you would still not be able to avoid over hearing the conversation (and at a time such as this you really don’t mind as you have now become as truly and utterly bored as the expression on your face). And she says: “ …Such a warm and relaxing environment really … one cannot help feeling so much at home in this place, it’s so comfortable! … wonderful décor, happy down to earth people, and such good food at such dirt cheap prices! ….”

:o Based on a true story ….

THE END