Wednesday,Nov 22 2006, 01:43:06 PMlife.....

life is just so complicating. sometimes u think ur going the right way..then later on u end up...getting fucked up..sometimes..i wonder to myself "what more can i do?" sometime u just dont realise what u've done until later on. i wasn't consious at the time i guess. However i think to myself that...its all worth it. But somehow in the end....its always my fault. I did'nt do this...didn't do that...could have done this..or that. DAMN IT!! sometimes....the things u do r just not enough. Or maybe the other person just doesn't know or get the gravity of the situation. They just think negative. When all im trying to do is get some in return. Life....hmmm...all i can say...is life...can be such a bitch sometimes. I just wanna bitch slap someone though...but hey...i guess it is the choices u make in life that will affect u later....But how will u know? how can u tell? it always happens later..."after" everything went tumbling down. Its like u can' t prevent something to happen. i mean...i guess..there r some things u can prevent from happening and there r some things u CAN'T prevent. What matters is that "AT LEAST U TRIED"......no wonder they say..."everyday is a lesson to be learned".  I used to have that thought that "what goes around comes around" but sometimes...waiting for something wonderful...is just to darn slow. i mean..u do all these great and wonderful things..and u think to urself "when will it happen to me? when will it be MY TURN to receive?" u'll keep waiting and waiting and sometimes...u just get tired. Its like waiting for the rain in the middle of the desert. I just can't wait. I just end up giving hints so that i can be heard. But somehow in the end..i get fucked up. It is so wrong to WANT something in RETURN? i mean i have been putting others before myself. And just ONCE...just once..can't i be thought of? can't be considered? can't i be loved?...hahhhhhh?...life...just so complicating and unfair. Life..is just a bitch. To u...who ever is reading this..what more can i do? i bet u dont really understand what i just finished saying...but if u have been through it..i beleive u'll be able to see and understand this whole...ordeal. So...why dont u leave a comment...at least to keep me from thinking too much...LOL.... appreciate it...thanx...

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