Journals
Thursday,Sep 23 2004, 02:54:37 AMPoetry has always been at the back of my...
Poetry has always been at the back of my mind ever since I was enraptured by Dead Poets' Society.. I love the lyrical way it unfolds, heals the broken heart, wounded soul; eases the creases and obstacles. Sad to say, not many remain etched in my memory... but i wanna share some i've just read...
Song At Sunset by Walt Whitman, an American poet
SPLENDOR of ended day, floating and filling me!
Hour prophetic--hour resuming the past!
Inflating my throat--you, divine average!
You, Earth and Life, till the last ray gleams, I sing.
Open mouth of my Soul, uttering gladness,
Eyes of my Soul, seeing perfection,
Natural life of me, faithfully praising things;
Corroborating forever the triumph of things.
Illustrious every one!
Illustrious what we name space--sphere of unnumber'd spirits; Illustrious the mystery of motion, in all beings, even the tiniest insect;
Illustrious the attribute of speech--the senses--the body;
Illustrious the passing light! Illustrious the pale reflection on the new moon in the western sky!
Illustrious whatever I see, or hear, or touch, to the last.
Good in all,
In the satisfaction and aplomb of animals,
In the annual return of the seasons,
In the hilarity of youth,
In the strength and flush of manhood,
In the grandeur and exquisiteness of old age, In the superb vistas of Death.
Wonderful to depart;
Wonderful to be here!
The heart, to jet the all-alike and innocent blood!
To breathe the air, how delicious!
To speak! to walk! to seize something by the hand!
To prepare for sleep, for bed--to look on my rose-color'd flesh;
To be conscious of my body, so satisfied, so large;
To be this incredible God I am;
To have gone forth among other Gods--these men and women I love.
Wonderful how I celebrate you and myself!
How my thoughts play subtly at the spectacles around!
How the clouds pass silently overhead!
How the earth darts on and on! and how the sun, moon, stars, dart on and on!
How the water sports and sings! (Surely it is alive!)
How the trees rise and stand up--with strong trunks--with branches and leaves!
(Surely there is something more in each of the tree--some living Soul.)
O amazement of things! even the least particle!
O spirituality of things!
O strain musical, flowing through ages and continents--now reaching
me and America! I take your strong chords--I intersperse them, and cheerfully pass them forward.
I too carol the sun, usher'd, or at noon, or, as now, setting,
I too throb to the brain and beauty of the earth, and of all the
growths of the earth,
I too have felt the resistless call of myself.
As I sail'd down the Mississippi,
As I wander'd over the prairies,
As I have lived--As I have look'd through my windows, my eyes,
As I went forth in the morning--As I beheld the light breaking in the
east;
As I bathed on the beach of the Eastern Sea, and again on the beach of the Western Sea;
As I roam'd the streets of inland Chicago--whatever streets I have
roam'd; Or cities, or silent woods, or peace, or even amid the sights of war;
Wherever I have been, I have charged myself with contentment and triumph.
I sing the Equalities, modern or old,
I sing the endless finales of things;
I say Nature continues--Glory continues;
I praise with electric voice;
For I do not see one imperfection in the universe;
And I do not see one cause or result lamentable at last in the universe.
O setting sun! though the time has come,
I still warble under you, if none else does, unmitigated adoration.
Food for thought...: The beauty of even the smallest things is often overlooked by everyone. How ironic when what we perceive with our outward eyes are superficial. Use your heart to understand and your heart to listen. See not on the surface, but laser the internals. Life is precious, now and forever...
Thursday,Sep 23 2004, 02:31:36 AMThe Rainy Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow T
The Rainy Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
-------------my life is dark and dreary--------------
Behind every cloud is a silver lining... EXAMS ARE OVER! OFFICIALLY oVER=) for another 3 weeks no-exam-status will be reinstated, rejoice mUahAhAhA! Chanced upon this poem that really resonates wif me. Right now, the elation of end of exams is insignificant. My heart is dreary and my brow weary wif lost faith and lethargy. SAy.>..<.have my eyes decreased in size already? Hahaha, they're +vely drooping, i can feel their defiant protests. It was a strenuous, DRAINING, life-sucking 2 week period of incessant thunderstorms. U noe what they say, it never rains but POURS.
Gee, the poem is very enlightening indeed. If you hadn't experienced the downside of everything, would there ever be any significance in the hard-earned fruits of labour? NOPE, and sad to say, we often dwell in the abyss of despair. NO matter what the results, this is not the end=) MOVE ON! SMILE AWAY YOUR TROUBLES...
let me plan what i want to accomplish after prelims.. wif effect from NOW=)...
1st. SLEEP@-@ on the contrary, i'm not exactly conscientious, but i LURRVVE to sleep, which is the main reason y i hunger for the long-awaited trouble-free sleep. PAST FEW NIGHTS, V=IR, Work done=FxD... blabla, been simulating QUESTIONS in my head and torturing myself wif the unsolvable questions... haha, can say brought it upon myself. Whoever designs unsolvable questions for themselves! I was mad. I was messed up. I was not myself...
2nd. READ! outside of texts at least. OR... at least finish the texts i didn't haha, for the exam. I'm lazy i noe. Spotted topics for social studies, so left the whole chunk of sec 4 incl. venice blabla rotting in a bag at home. ~GEE~
3rd. CRY. Don't know, everybody's been crying. I feel numb. I need some outlet. So ways of inducing tears: LAFF hahahahahahahahahahaha
4th. STOP MSGING PPLE. I think i'm compulsive-obsessive when it comes to my handphone. It's soooooo cute, and so are my frens. So studying was interrupted ALOT by the desire of checking sms-es and writing more. GEEGEE... i think it's really disruptive, cos, if u're pouring sweat, tears and blood into a subject, say physics, then a msg comes along... you FORGET you're studying. At least that happens for me, cos i'm v SINCERE haha when i msg. In other words, long-winded la.
5th. STOP BEING VEHEMENT. I always quarrel. Don't ask me why. It runs in my blood=)dz calls it superiority complex in his blog. I beg to differ. Pple don't quarrel and fry things up red-hot cos they wanna prove themselves Superior. Superiority is inferred by the other party. A sensible person would probably understand humility. To me, a person who's suffering from serious SC walks wif his head parallel to the sky. However i do agree, a small degree of SC is necessary to sustain life. What's life without pride for your work? What's life without the drive to accomplish bigger, better?!
6th. STOP USING 'STOPS'. I'm too negative le~should be positive and forward-looking in my resolutions haha... so i shall fulfill the top of my list. SLEEP=! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ciaos~
Thursday,Sep 16 2004, 01:37:11 AMWa exams are like frying pans... they FRY MY...
Wa exams are like frying pans... they FRY MY BRAINS!!! Haha, thanks all frens for looking out for the roadblocks and comforting me like the oil to the frying pan... you guys are GREAT lubricants... Mm, indeeeeed. Indeeed. exams Are SUPPOSED to be easy, it's just a measure of your understanding of the subject la, and apparently i'm not up to the very mark yet... if not i'd be a prof or something, and won't waste time typing the grievances of a mediocre lil gurl... *sobs*
Anyhow, i'll try to update you guys on my exams... everyday i shall experiment new feelings, emotions and revelations and everyday i shall exonerate from the tantalising escapade and be down-to-earth. Life's a lot easier to live if you spend some time thinking about your predicaments and most imptly... COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS=)
I love you all dudes and babes=) you guys are magical!!!
Wednesday,Sep 15 2004, 04:44:42 AMHalf the time i wish for someone to tell me...
Half the time i wish for someone to tell me that prelims collectively is a dream. A very nasty one indeed... but that someone just doesn't appears... god, is it not a dream?!
haha, nothing positive to report on. today was biology paper... my fav paper, yet really ambiguous whether i can score that coveted 1. hopefullyyyy... but fear it'll be on the lower end... which is bad. BUT learnt alot thru my mistakes already, even tho e paper hasn't been marked... obviously i have resourceful and capable frens who are a million times more careful than i am. =(
anyhow, realised that ALL viruses are parasites. Talk about parasiting my life. =(
Tuesday,Sep 14 2004, 02:24:24 AMMy life sucks really. Go school, take exams,...
My life sucks really.
Go school, take exams, mental breakdown, hopelessness..
what the hell is going on?!
then all my frens are so stressed out too, wish i could do more to help them... on one hand i try to comfort them and ease their fears, on the other, i'm freaking out myself...lols, the things peeps do when they are stressed! Last nite decided to study in front of the loo cos it (no not cos it smelt nice) has lesser distractions... the beauty of the serene toilet lies in your calm, ripple-less mind. GEE
hais.
hAAAis.
i think i grumble too much and work too lil, tho i try to push myself all the time all the way. recently met someone who takes 11 subs and still scored fabulous for jap exam... felt SOOOOOOOO mediocre and SOOOOOOOO useless... i noe it's useless building sandcastles in the air, but i do want to be the most successful person in the world! haha, no it's not a joke, it's a far-fetched dream... i wanna be at the top of the world, looking at mother nature in a different perspective... i wanna be away from the competition, the mistakes, the ugly facts of life...
Hm, teenagers usu r full of angst, but seem to lose the steam as time goes by... perhaps cos imagination has been dulled, phaps the spark of interest in e most ridiculous dreams has been doused by the practicalities of life. that's scary, to lose your perspective, your dreams, your hopes, your imagination...
i don't wanna grow up boring and sickened by life...
Hm, sometimes i really don't understand my frens. Wanna lose my temper at em totally, but just can't bear too! Take dz for eg, (if you're reading this...) always avoid sharing his woes with me. HM, i'm too frivolous for a listening ear huh? Like he said, there's always a sense of helplessness when you cant brighten up the days of someone feeling down... haaai. sometimes i get tired prying. mebbe i shouldn't care so much. i should be selfish and keep to myself, love myself and not others. really.