Journals
Saturday,Jun 5 2004, 06:05:55 PMHey pple...i dunno how many of u are still...
Hey pple...i dunno how many of u are still reading my blog over here... haven't been updating my blog here cos i couldn't really get into the webbie somtimes...so u can catch me at another blog k? http://xception.blogspot.com..... drop me a msg there when you're free! =)
Sunday,May 30 2004, 04:29:19 PMI think i shld write my blog now since i can...
I think i shld write my blog now since i can log in....in case 5 mins later, the server is down again. I feel so weird. Seems like no one else can log on to zorpia anymore. I can't see the updated journals by huiling and my shifu has been complaining that he's getting irritated with the server. I think he's gonna move his blog somewhere else...
Seng told me she went shopping the whole day with her sis and earned for herself a bag! How i wished i had older siblings who are financially independent. Maybe i shld wish for myself to find a sugar daddy instead, haha. Hmmm, how many times have we been wishing for this, all my single ger frens, haha. Soon soon, don't worry.
My brother got his first letter regarding the ever honourable national service....he seems so happy for the whole day. I thot he was so weird, to be happy over going to NS. But i think i know why. That means he's gonna stop studying, stop doing something that he hated ever since K1. I knew this long ago. Ever since when i was in pri 3 and him in pri 1. I think all his teachers rem me, cos i'm always being asked to see them...and i've heard all sorts of things they say bout him.
"He talks too much...he simply can't make it, he's just not cut out for study...he's hopeless" I was too young then. Too young that i actually allow them to say all these things to me. Who were they to say someone's hopeless? Yes, he hates studying and he's lazy but that doesn't mean he's hopeless. Frens and relatives asked us wad he's doing and we say he's in ite...there's nthg to avoid, nthg to be ashamed of. At least, he always seems happier than i do. He's never complained about tests and exams. I've never seen him stayin up late to study. Never. I envy sometimes. No need to study and always make it thru to the next level, haha. He has his goals too...although it may not be very ambitious, but whenever he talks bout it, he looks so happy. He just wanna sell ice-cream and ba gua...really. Initially, i laughed at him, but i realised that his ideas may sound simple but they aren't easy. At least he knows what he wants.
Alright, my shifu is going to have his first driving lesson tmr and he sounded so excited over msn. And he went to sleep so early... i mean compared to other nights. I hope he doesn't suan the instructor too much, not everyone has my patience.
Saturday,May 29 2004, 08:33:25 PMStayed at home the whole day. Woke up late,...
Stayed at home the whole day. Woke up late, watched tv, had lunch at 3pm and decided to skip dinner. Nothing new. Marcus asked me to write my blog earlier on but i asked him to go sleep. Becos i know that by the time i start writing, he'll be in his dreams...and so will be piggy andreas.
Talked to quite a number of pple online today. It can be quite tiring at times. Using different moods for different pple. Giving advices in one window, crapping in another, suanning in another and tellin your problems in another. Hmmm, but i guess that's just part of our lives huh, wearing different masks in front of different pple.
I feel bad. Sorry that you are always listening to my problems. Maybe it's time you ask me to stop. It seems like i'm always on the receiving end of our friendship. I'm so not used to it? I know it's been more than once that you said it's ok. I'll be here, to listen, whenever. I'm kinda upset for the both of us. For 2 sadists who no longer believed in "forever". I guess we've grown up. Too grown up that pple don't see the things we do.
I wished i believe in forever and make you a believer too, but i can't. I wished someone can grant me a new heart. The one i'm having is running out of space, soon. I wished i had a better filter in my brain, to filter away all the unnecessary impurities. I wished none of you will ever see me fall. Nope, not yet, it's too early for a rest. So, i won't fall.
Friday,May 28 2004, 08:17:21 PMTsk tsk...i just realised another function...
Tsk tsk...i just realised another function of my blog..yating sms me today and commented that my blog is kinda "entertaining" with me ALWAYS praising myself..WHICH ENTRY did i praise myself huh? It's so tough u noe, even a blog can be criticized till like tt, hahaha...oh yah...na and huiling! My frens said the cookies were yummy, heh..although i know it's nthg too surprising, hahaha..erm..yating, is this wad u say about me being bhb? hahaha. =)
Wasn't able to write my journal yesterday. Was camping over at my fren's place. *wink* one of the best "camps" i ever had BECOS i slept well thru the night, heh. As usual, winnie was suanned by all of us and she introduced her bf to us too....to me and ix! Well, she kept sayin that her bf, jason is so good and everything...ya ya..wadever la. As long as he can withstand your crap, he IS good...as usual, ix was crapping his way thru to the extent that we kinda got cant be bothered with him...hmmm, was surprised that it was just the few of us, i mean, we were never really close, except for me and winnie...haha. Was pretty fun except for the time when i was almost "electrocuted" which i thot was so silly...*roll eyes* Caught christine red-handed..i mean holding hands with her bf and thot she looked so xing fu, with the glow on her face...so qiao! Well well, who's next?
Just finished readin na's blog... SENG! am so happie that u've made ur choice! I know life hasn't been really good to u, making u feel so high up at one moment and making you fall at the next. But things happen, and they will continue to hit us, one after another. You've made thru this one and u'll do so for the future ones too. I am sure. I cant promise you that it's the best choice u've made, but i want you to know that no matter what, we will always be here for you...
And na is pissed. Wad can i say? She has said everything i wanted to. Friendship is vulnerable, isn't it. Can u imagine someone u've known for close to 8 yrs to call your hp, and den realised she has dialled the wrong number and hang up as though nthg's happened? Not even a simple "how have u been?" OH well, it was SIMPLE enuf..."oh, it's u? sorry, bye..." I thot my reaction would be much greater..but it wasn't. Shld we blame it on those "rumours"? Rumours that hinted to us more than once that we probably shld not disturb ur life which seems to be so much more interesting without us? Are they rumours or are they really describing you? How is it possible for anyone of us to know? You think it's easy to meet up with you, seeing you pullin a long face, and contemplating if we shld ask u wad's wrong? It's not easy. If you think u are the only one feeling uneasy with our presence, if you think you are oredi absent from our conversations, then u are so wrong. Maybe i don't understand. Maybe i am being too unreasonable. Maybe it's really hard for you to explain. Maybe things aren't that bad after all. Maybe i shldn't impose my expectations upon you. Maybe u've given up on us, maybe i've given up.
Bought a new diary today..yes, i do keep one. The old one which i've been using since sec one ran out of space, finally. This new one looks good, simple and sweet. I hope it's an exception to the saying "never judge a book by its cover".
Wednesday,May 26 2004, 04:51:26 PMHmmm, kinda early to write my blog. I'll...
Hmmm, kinda early to write my blog. I'll usually write it JUST before going to bed...stayed at home the whole day, slept thru' most of it. It's the medicine. I think it's working quite well, i feel alrite already.
Yesterday, over at huiling's place...we looked thru quite abit of fotos. Brought back so many memories...3 of us were trying to recall the facts, guess we are all old. Life used to be so simple and fun. We studied tgt, played tgt, WAIT for recess time tgt...ha, recess time, how long have we not use such this term? All of us know, even if u are now able to return to the old school, to the same classroom, to the same canteen and toilet, things are still different. We've learnt to see things in different perspectives and i guess we all learnt too well...too well tt it made us forget how nice a simple life can be.
We are pissed off when pple are mean to us, we feel threatened when that ger(guy)beside you starts talking to ur crush, we get angry when no one's listenin to us..and guess wad, we even feel afraid when pple are genuinely nice to us..alrite, maybe it's not WE...maybe it's just ME.
Sometimes, i reflect and i admire myself. Alrite, dont puke..YET. Frens come to me, tellin me how upset they are, how disappointed they are with their lives and frens. I can always give them the right "advice", u noe..saying the right things at the right time...once, one of my frens said "i wonder where are the angels when we need them" i replied almost immediately "cos they are with pple who needs them more than us!" Woah, i am so amazed by my own answer. Seems like i am totally free of worries and everything. Well, i always feel that we shld be positive..Pessimism is contagious. If you can say sthg that makes someone feels better, why not? Telling him/her your problems is just gonna add on to the disappointment he already has towards life. Moreover, sumtimes, u will realise that your so-called problems are really nothing as compared to pple who are more unfortunate than you. We pple just love to complain, don't we? Maybe one day, all my frens would have nothing but good news for me. One day. Looking forward to that day.
I feel honoured. Am very glad that there are pple willin to tell me about themselves, about things that they probably would never tell anyone else. U pple shld just pray and hope that i dun get drunk one day or sthg..i wouldn't want to start a "secretS-tellin" session or anything like that.
Am looking forward to mtg SOME of my frens tmr, although i really have no idea wad we will be doing...i hope it would be good...budden again, with my cookies, of cos it would be good... just that someone cannot keep his promise of showing off his culinary skills..well no BIG deal huh, i mean not everyone can keep to their promises yah....=)